


Rewind

by Apeiron_agape



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Divorce, Drama, M/M, That's it, idk anymore?, oh god what else, ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-04-28 05:49:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5080105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apeiron_agape/pseuds/Apeiron_agape
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Midorima committed the biggest sin of his life and he himself knew he fucked this up and yet he still let himself sink further and further. A part of him wanted to go back. A part of him pulled him from moving. He was surely in doom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I am home.” The door opened with a creak and revealed a tall green-haired man, who was in his early twenties, hand clutching onto his leather briefcase, a pokemom key chain hanging from it. The other hand reached to his tie and swiftly loosened the said object just a bit in order to take more air into his lungs. Today was a tough day. He had been running wards after wards due to the ridiculous amount of patients being charged in and being the best surgeons he was – he could accept any challenge directed to him for this title in this field – it definitely did nothing to lessen the workloads, not that he minded though since it was his work after all and a Midorima never failed to accomplish his duties and responsibilities. Well, maybe it wasn’t true. He did fail in a certain area or rather to a certain person.

  
“Welcome home, Shin kun, how was your day?” Kuroko Tetsuya, no, Midorima Tetsuya stood at the entrance and took the briefcase from the emerald-headed man. Midorima was shocked a little because he expected Tetsuya to be asleep already since it was almost three in the morning, well, maybe it wasn’t the only reason. His husband had a little presence and he was famous for his misdirection skills due to his lack of presence in their basketball team when they were just middle schoolers. And trust him, he never failed to scare the shit out of everyone, excepted from Akashi, their ex basketball captain and of course the generation of miracles which was composed of a bunch of males who were unrealistically skillful despite of their young age and he and Tetsuya were parts of them. Back to the topic, even though Midorima was already used to this kind of sudden appearance, it was still hard for him not to notice when he was distracted by his thoughts, well, it was not like he owned the emperor eye like Akashi.

  
Midorima sighed while proceeding to take off his shoes and the coat which Tetsuya took right away and now hanged neatly on a hook of the house’s wall. “Seriously Tetsuya, you should stop appearing out of nowhere like that. It nearly gave me a panic attack.” They had adopted the first name basis ever since they had married and now it was already third year of their marriage. Well, it was true that they started it at such a young age. But Midorima didn’t encounter much inconvenience like other couples who did marry when they were young due to his ability. After all, he believed that nothing could trouble him as long as he was as precise as always and as long as he stuck to his Oha-Asa’s horoscope. He was obviously not a modest person and everybody claimed that was because he spent too much of his time together with their captain who was already a seriously mentally twisted person in his own. Of course they didn’t voice it out for they still wanted to live a little longer.

  
“I apologize.” The teal-haired bo-man replied with his ever stoic face and he clearly didn’t sound apologetic, though if you paid enough attention, you could see some amusements in those big sky blue eyes.

  
“Have you eaten already? I will go and war-”

  
“No, don’t need. I have already eaten outside with some of my colleagues.” He missed a disappointed look on the younger male’s face which was immediately covered by his perfect façade.

  
“Is that so? Then, please go and take a bath. I have already prepared the water for you. The clean clothes are in the bathroom as well.” Tetsuya pushed Midorima to upstairs with a small – strained – smile while playfully patting the taller man’s butt and he got a glare for that which he shrugged it off with a chuckle.

  
A chair was occupied by a small figure of the teal haired man while in front of him sat various dishes which were already cold. The fluffy blue hair covered half of the face as if it was trying to conceal all the emotions that were going to leap out. However, a water trail could be seen on his face though his eyes were mostly shielded by his blue locks. Thin, pink lips curved upwards a little and they moved. “Happy birthday Tetsuya.” He uttered a wish and started eating even so he was pretty much sure that most of the dishes would end up in the trash bin afterwards.

  
Midorima closed his eyes and let himself relaxed as the warm water soothed his sore muscles. It was undeniable that most of the fatigue came from his work but there was also another reason why his body was more tired than usual and also the main reason of him coming home late. Heck, he could already call the day off since nine at night yet today, he was as busy as a bee. Well, he put extra effort into it so that he could earlier and good thing was today wasn’t his turn for the night duty.  
He knew that he should just return to home as soon as possible since it had been a long since he had a meal together with Tetsuya, let alone a proper conversation. Lately, he came home late and left early. Tetsuya would still wait no matter how late he was but there were times when he was greeted by a sleeping waited male. He couldn’t really blame him. Who could wait without breaking a blink for someone who just returned home at four in the morning? And as soon as the sun hit the earth, he was already on the way to his work.

  
He recalled today’s morning when he saw a message lying in his phone. I miss you All he saw were those words and he just poured all his energy into the day so that he could make a last minute visit. His memory recalled other things aside from that message though. The sinful, yet addictive, intoxicated relationship he had been having with a certain male for the last four months. It was wrong. He knew it was completely wrong. He knew he deserved hell for cheating on Tetsuya who was always beside throughout his life. He knew he should be castrated for doing such unhealthy nasty thing behind his back for a person who he barely knew for five months.

  
He remembered the first night with the poisonous and delicious male. His rational thoughts were clouded and couldn’t think straight when he saw that body writhing under him, begging him to go faster, pleading him to make him his completely, moaning and calling his name as Shin chan like he was his dearest person, chanting how much he loved the bespectacled, green haired male, how that male clung to his body like his life depended on him. And he knew that Midorima had a husband waiting for him with freshly cooked meals at home yet he did all those dirty little things without batting an eyelash.

  
What a cocky bastard.

  
But he didn’t really have a right to call him a bastard when he himself was the most selfish, hideous creature for letting that dangerous attachment blossomed to the point that he was already like a drugged man who couldn’t survive without that killing thing. Where did the always composed Midorima Shintarou go was beyond his intelligence. Right now, there was only a loathsome devil that was wearing a skin of a human while pretending and acting like an awesome human which was just a bullshit. Midorima groaned when he realized his paltry, wretched life and let himself sunk to the bottom of the water.

  
Midorima came out of the bathroom when he finally satisfied with the bath with clothes Tetsuya had prepared for him. (He had to admit that he felt a little guilty when he could feel how Tetsuya cared for him while he was being an ass behind his back.) He went straight to the table beside their king-sized bed where his phone lied and picked it up to check something and that something which was a message was lying innocently while Midorima knew that it contained the not grateful act of his in the content.

  
He swiped the screen off to read it and he thanked to whatever above there for Tetsuya never be a nosy creature like most of the other halves do. And came to think of it, Tetsuya never was that kind of person. He believed that it was a must to give every person a personal space and also he trusted Shintarou so much. Oh he was feeling his guilt eating up again.

  
He quickly shook his head and read the material. Thank you for your visit, Shin chan. It was delicious.

  
Shintarou could feel heat crawling to his every part when he translated it into various things they had done tonight. He was sure that evil little thing must be smirking while sending this message to him. He groaned and buried his red face in his arm while thinking the amount of time he had to spend to get rid of this embarrassing redness.

  
Then, he saw the date on the device. Oh, tomorrow was his day off. Well, not really. Since it already passed four so it was today. He assumed it like that since he had already checked his schedule and it was surprisingly clean. And it was when he took notice of the date on his phone which read 1st February, 20XX. Did he forget something? It felt so wrong to see the number like that. 1st February. 1st February. 1st February. 1st February. 1st February. 1st February…

  
“Shit. How could I- Damn. Shintarou, go die.” The said male ran a hand into his hair when he knew he had screwed a big thing up. Today was Tetsuya’s birthday. No. Yesterday was. He just wanted to smash his head on the nearest wall and die with the loss of blood. How could he forget this?!! If he was being guilty a while ago, now he surely felt like a horrible jerk.

  
He frustrately ruffled his showered hair and slumped his body into the bed. Then, he heard the door opened and his attention was shifted back to the male in front of him. The small frown on that doll like emotionless face clearly showed confusion.

  
“Shin kun, what are you still doing without going to bed? Do you have any notice that it already passed four in the morning? You still have to go to work after a few hours.” He spoke with his still face though his tone was laced with worry. Shintarou could see wetness from both pale hands and shirt, assuming that Tetsuya must have just finished washing the dishes. He knew how much Tetsuya hated cold. Although winter was near to the end, the coldness was no kidding. He noticed how those pale hands were turning a slight blue.

  
He didn’t answer the questions and instead he pulled the smaller male towards him while holding both pale delicate looking small hands into his larger ones. “Were you washing the dishes again? How many times should I tell you not to touch water at this godly hour? This won’t do. Call a helper starting from tomorrow and don’t. That’s the final word.” Shintarou scolded and efficiently shut the smaller male up when he saw the latter’s attempt to retort. Now, he saw a clearly irritated male with a small pout which was can be seen only if you looked carefully. “I won’t die for touching water at this you called godly hour and I would appreciate it if you stop treating me like a female and I oppose the idea of calling a helper which is I find as a waste of money, Shin kun.” The teal haired male retorted with his infamous expressionless face.

  
“Tsk, as stubborn as ever huh Tetsuya.” The conversation brought a smile to Shintarou’s face and he encircled his arms loosely around Tetsuya’s face while burying his face in the latter’s stomach in his sitting position with Tetsuya standing in front of him. Tetsuya was warm, so warm and he wondered how a petite body like him could be this warm. Tetsuya gave a homey feeling and Shintarou felt safe. He could feel small fingers running through his still dump locks and could hear some naggings about him not drying his hair properly. He ignored and once in a while allowed himself to be spoiled from his uptight lifestyle.

  
“Shin kun, are you feeling unwell? You are being weird.” Small hands cupped the larger male’s face to face the blue orbs.

  
“And what gave you that idea?”

  
“Well, you weren’t as clingy as today in the past.” Few weeks were left unspoken. “Usually you just went straight to bed. Your actions led me to the conclusion that Kise’s spirit might possess on you.” Tetsuya answered with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

  
Shintarou cringed when he was being compared with that forever idiot, Kise. That male would probably shed his crocodile tears while yelling Shintarou being mean if he could hear the thought. And another thought flashed into his mind. He had been ignoring Tetsuya? Gosh, for how long already? Maybe after all, he was even worse than Kise.  
“I am sorry, Tetsuya.” He saw a surprise on that pale face. He continued before the smaller one could word.

  
“Happy belated birthday, Tetsu.” The realization hit the being wished male. Tetsuya allowed a small smile adorned on his lips. He knew Shintarou was really apologetic as soon as the taller male addressed him as “Tetsu”. He always said that he disliked in calling Tetsuya like that for somehow having a similarity as that Aomine, the muscled idiot. (He didn’t like to call him as Tetsuya either for having similarity with Akashi again. God, why didn’t he call Tetsuya by his first name when they were still friends? Now that Kuroko Tetsuya had become Midorima Tetsuya and it was just odd to address your own husband as Kuroko. He was still regretting.)

  
Tetsuya knew Sintarou had a soft spot for that nickname and there were countless of times he messaged Daiki just to get to call Tetsuya as ‘Tetsu’ all by himself which of course ended up Aomine cursing back in tons of messages saying there was no way he would let the bespectacled, horoscopic freak like Midorima to taint his creation. After all, all the generation of miracles had some things for one Midorima Tetsuya and they wanted to cherish all the things they could about Tetsuya to themselves when they were clearly informed that they lost to Midorima. (Akashi was still unable to recover for the fact that he lost to his fellow shogi player who was always defeated by him. Poor man.) And all the miracles just wanted to wipe that stupid smirk, grin like thingy from the shooter’s face when Tetsuya told them to call him as Midorima Tetsuya. And trust it, the wedding didn’t end pretty normally. There were flying snacks, kicks, scissors, shouts that opposed the marriage. If only wasn’t that one small glare Tetsuya gave to the crowd. It never failed to give Midorima a shiver whenever he thought about his wedding day. He seriously should have watched before he hung out with those bunch of psychos.  
Back to the present. Shintarou forced himself out from the trail of thoughts and focused on that angelic face. How a male could be this beautiful was still a mystery to him.

  
“I know. I know you were busy and you didn’t mean it. And actually a birthday means nothing. It is not a big deal.” Tetsuya replied while his hand returned to the emerald green hair and lost in it.

  
“What are you talking about? Of course, it is very important! It’s your birthday!” Shintarou said with red face while trying to avert eyes. The smaller male chuckled at his husband’s never ending tsundere-ness.

  
“D-Don’t laugh.”

  
a chuckle escaped. “So what do you wanna do?” Tetsuya asked with clear fondness in his voice.

  
“I have a day off tomorrow so we are celebrating. That’s final.” The aquamarine haired male mumbled while pulling Tetsuya along with him, shutting the light off efficiently which was just nearby from the bed. “Now it’s late and let’s sleep. We still have a long day ahead.” Shintarou kept the smaller male in his arms firmly with chin placed on top of the baby blue locks.

  
This was the least thing I could do for you for my sins. Midorima voiced in his mind. It was clear that he didn’t want to stop this ugly affair thing. No, he couldn’t stop. He would probably die if he did stop.

  
Tetsuya just hummed with appreciation and listened to his husband’s beating heart and soon the breaths of the taller male went even, a sign of falling asleep. Only at that moment Tetsuya did let his face show the sadness.

  
Tetsuya knew. He knew that Shintarou was having an affair outside. Of course he knew. He didn’t get the title of the most observant person along with Akashi for no reason. In fact, it didn’t really hard to guess when a person closest to you started changing his behaviors. The constant late comings, the cold shoulders he received, the less and less intimations between them would only lead to one conclusion that Shintarou was getting bored with him. And everybody knew an affair tagged along a boring marriage.  
There were times he went to the hospital to send meals just to be greeted by his husband’s colleagues saying that Midorima kun already went home a few hours ago. The smell of the mixture of another foreign cologne and sex couldn’t fool away with Tetsuya’s sharp instincts. The small bites and kiss marks decorating his husband’s body did make him go weeping for hours, days, weeks, months when it was crystal clear that it wasn’t him who created those sinful arts. (He saw them accidentally when Mirorima was sleeping.) Did Midorima really think he was stupid or did he think he didn’t even need to hide it from Tetsuya? More than ten times he saw a foreign number sending messages to his husband’s phone and he didn’t dare to look at the contents for being afraid of the things they might contain. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stand if he caught his husband cheating on him. Though it was only a matter of time before he found out, after all seeing himself and just knowing merely were two different cases. He just preferred to be blindfolded from the whole truth thing.

  
There were millions of times Tetsuya thought of ending all these. He wanted to yell at Midorima for doing this to him. He wanted to punch and kick the life out of him for treating him like this. He wanted to throw the divorce contract right into the face of Midorima and walked out from this house without second thought. He wanted to show that he knew all these things from the beginning and that he wasn’t an idiot like Midorima thought. How could he? How could he be so cruel? Midorima knew Tetsuya worshipped him. He even gave up his dream job of being a kindergarten teacher so that he could devote all of his time for Midorima. Then, why? Why did he deserve this kind of treatment? Did he do something so wrong in the past for karma wanting to punish him like this? It would feel better if karma did take his life instead.  
He loved Shintarou to the point of no returns. He might be a freak who didn’t show any emotions but he couldn’t hide his happiness whenever that taller male was around him. He couldn’t get used to the stares of Midorima even after this many years which always led him to tons of butterflies did weird things in his stomach. Since their days of middle school, Tetsuya had his eyes only for Midorima. Sure, they were not the best partners like Aomine and Tetsuya or get along outside the court like with Murasakibara. And they didn’t clearly have times to discuss different things like he and Akashi and they definitely didn’t have PDA like he was with Kise. But everyone who was observant enough could tell those sparkles in Tetsuya’s eyes whenever those blue seas spotted the green haired man. He knew he was whipped hard. But what could he do? His stupid heart was content with just seeing the elder’s happy face though the elder was also disliked of showing expressions. But one pleased look was enough to lighten Tetsuya’s life for days. He surely was whipped.

  
Tetsuya covered his mouth and swallowed the upcoming lump in his throat when emotions washed over him. He was expressionless but that led him to be more emotional than normal human beings. It was such a wonder he didn’t die yet. Though he succeeded in stopping the noise, he failed miserably in controlling his tears. Those droplets just wouldn’t stop no matter how many times he wiped away. Fearing he might wake the elder up, Tetsuya quickly turned away to face the wall instead. He could hear a soft groan and the pair of hands tightened around his waist.

  
He will come back to me right? If I can be patient enough, he will turn his heart towards me again right?

  
Thousands of questions ran through his head and mind. He was exhausted, mentally and both physically. Gosh, how much he wished to be asleep forever? He seriously needed a long rest for both mind and body.

  
I am so tired. Shin kun, I am so tired. He was finally greeted by the world of darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

After what seemed like an eternity, Midorima finally woke up from his slumber with a groan. The space beside him was already empty and ice cold indicating the other person had already left long ago. He grudgingly pushed himself up while reaching to his glasses. Yawning, he saw that it was almost two in the afternoon, he must have been really exhausted for being able to sleep that long, he concluded. After all, Midorima never slept more than six hours a day – it was worse lately since he came back late and also left early.

He slightly believed that sleeping that much could just waste your time, which was completely opposite of Tetsuya when the other male was obviously not a morning person or early riser. Even though it was like that, he could sense that Tetsuya had been trying to change his sleeping patterns in order to match up with Shintarou’s. But it was still a futile. He still couldn’t rise when Midorima left in the morning even so he could wait for the comeback of emerald haired man. Please, it was clear that the petite male was deprived of sleep lately due to his dark circles around the eyes. He made a mental note to make the smaller one sleep earlier.

His attention fell upon a piece of paper sticking under his cell.

> _Shin kun, I am out for the ingredients we might need later for our celebration. I have already prepared lunch for you and put them in the fridge. Please do sure to warm them up before you consume. -Tetsuya_

It was his job to do shopping in the first place but Tetsuya was a step faster than him. He signed before he headed to the bathroom to clean himself first. After refreshing, he went downstairs to have his breakfast-lunch. He found the neatly placed utensils along with the newspaper and his today’s lucky item, a baby blue handkerchief, it somehow reminded him of Tetsuya. He needed to bring it everywhere throughout the day since today Cancer ranked last for the luck. He couldn’t help but praise his husband for being this considerable. He was indeed lucky to have Tetsuya after all and he had no doubt that the rest of the human population would agree with him too. 

He ate his warmed up pasta which Tetsuya made for him, scanning through the articles in the front page of the newspaper at the same time. He would surely get nagged if the other male was here for not focusing on his meal. It saved time so Midorima found why not. He wouldn’t dare to do that if it was his father who he was eating together with though. That man was quite serious about the dining etiquettes.

After eating, he cleaned up the table and started cleaning the dishes. It was already bad enough for Tetsuya to prepare everything for his own birthday when it was Midorima who insisted doing it. He wouldn’t want to trouble Tetsuya any more with the uncleaned dishes despite Tetsuya would try to snatch the work if he was here.

He somehow had to do something. It would make him a complete jerk if he was just sitting on the couch, waiting for the other to come back.(not that he wasn’t one already.)

“Maybe I can do the cleaning? Yeah, I definitely can.” Midorima pushed his glasses up while stuffing his blue handkerchief into his pocket and began preparing for the cleaning up. A midorima could do anything and everything told you. Tying a white cloth on his head and wearing a white apron with a duster in his hand, he was more than ready to start the operation “Make Tetsuya surprised”.

“Well, bring it on.” Determined Midorima Shintarou finally entered the war zone.

The green haired man could finally understand why Tetsuya looked like he was going to pass out whenever he finished dusting the ceiling. It was such an easy task for Midorima. All he needed to do was to extend his hand and “ta da”, the dust would be all gone. But he knew what it would be like for Tetsuya whose height was umm below average for an adult male. Of course, he wouldn’t voice it out loud. He knew how much Tetsuya hated to be called small, short and cute. Those adjectives are definitely taboo words not to use against the smaller, he meant, Tetsuya.

“I have to always help him in this area.” Shintarou reminded himself while continuing the work.

After about thirty minutes, he was almost done with everything and now, doing the last one which was walking around the living room with a vacuum cleaner. He smiled slightly when everything went well according to his plan. When he was lost in his thought, he heard the doorbell rang.

“Who might it be at this time?” He quickly turned off the vacuum cleaner and jogged off to the door to welcome the guest. But the sight in front of him made him to go speechless. The.. the person was-

“Shin chan!” Midorima was tackled to the ground by a raven haired male who was a little shorter than him. The green haired man secured the waist of the intruder worrying that he might get hurt but not without a frown on his face.

“Ta..Takao, what are you doing here? Wait, how did you know my house?” Midorima asked while pushing the smaller male up a little to make a space between them.

The Takao named man beamed happily like a small kid who got his favourite candy. “I miss Shin chan and I am worried about you. You didn’t pick up your phone when I called you this morning nor did you reply my messages, so.” The black haired man said with a small face with sadness evident upon his face.

“Oh! And about your address, I went to your hospital and asked one of the nurses there. Wah! She was so nice. She told me right away when I said I had an important case to discuss with you.” He exclaimed enthusiastically, nearly bouncing on Midorima.

Midorima sighed, feeling a headache already crawling towards his head and he made sure to get the name of that nurse who easily sold him out. Please, what if a dangerous criminal came and asked for that, saying ‘oh we do have really important cases to have to talk with Midorima face to face.’? He seriously had to warn all those females at the hospital not to do like that reckless kind of act never ever again. Now, another big problem lied in front of him. He put on his most serious face and glared at the male on top of him causing the latter to flinch under his stare.

“S-Shin chan?”

“Seriously Takao, what are you thinking? Do you think you can come whenever you want? And without a proper reason! Think before you act, will you? What if it was not me who opened the door right now? What if it was Tetsuya? What are you planning to answer when he asks our relationship? You know that he knows all of my acquaintances. You are going to tell the truth? Just what you are thinking Takao? I was expecting you to act more like your age. You are twenty five for god’s sake. Will you ever stop thinking and behaving like five?!” Midorima ran his fingers through his hair out of frustration after his outburst. But he hindered midway when he noticed the other male’s figure shaking a little. Might that be- oh not this also. He was terrible with crying people.

“I..I am s..sorry, S..Shin chan. I..I just missed y..you so much. You..you weren’t answering your phone though you t..told me that today..is your day off. You p..promised that we will go and w..watch movie to..together. I..thought something bad..happened to you.” Takao spoke between sobs and hiccups and tears. He ridiculously looked like a five now. God, what did Midorima do in his past life to fall for this idiot?

“I..I know that I am r..ridiculous and childish and stupid and idiotic and and and idiot!” Great, now he even forgot how to construct a proper sentence. Midorima felt two hands clutching onto his front apron. (he hadn’t taken off his cleaning attire yet.) “B..but S..Shin chan, please don’t leave me. I..I won’t do like this ever again. I..promise.” Now, the crying got worse. Midorima looked at the other softly and felt guilty for his outburst when it was him who forgot his promise. What an idiot to worry about this nonsense thing?

He pulled the crying man into his hug while letting the latter to rest his face on his shoulder. “There there, d..don’t cry anymore. Idiot! What are you worrying for nothing? I..I was just frustrated over your reckless acts. You can’t survive in the society like this! I..I am not leaving anywhere.” Midorima awkwardly patted Takao’s back while drawing soothing patterns absentmindedly. God, he seriously sucked with weeping creatures.

Takao beamed again when he heard the words. He nodded vigorously while looking at Midorima through his tears. “I promise. Shin chan, I will never do like this again.”

Midorima smiled a little while helping them to get up and closed the front door. He couldn’t believe that he let his whole neighborhood heard about this event. He just hoped they didn’t. He would be dead for sure if those old nosy women who were his neighbors told Tetsuya. After all, women were very very very nosy. Then, he remembered. Tetsuya. His heart sank. What was he going to do now?

“Takao, you go back first today. I will contact you later. I got an appointment at the last minute. For movie, let’s postpone it for a while, ok?” He saw Takao’s face fell. He sighed again while taking Takao’s face in his hands softly. Seriously, this was already nth time of him sighing. Today really was the worst day for Cancer.

“Hey, I am sorry okay? I will make it up to you next time. I promise.” He could see the sad face lit up again. It really amused Midorima how a person’s face could change into several expressions in a blink of eyes which was completely opposite to Tetsuya. Back then, he was also amused by Tetsuya’s ever stoic face………….. Seriously?!? What was wrong with him?! Why was he always comparing the two?! Tetsuya was Tetsuya and Takao was Takao! You moron!

He felt a pair of lips between his eyes and looked at Takao questioningly. “Shin chan is frowning again. And that is not good.” Takao said while smiling like a sun again.

“And okay Shin chan, I will go back first. But before that, can I just stay fifteen more minutes? Please? I want to stay with you as much as I can.” Midorima swallowed down his rejection when he saw those pleading eyes. He couldn’t resist that and Takao knew it really pretty well. That sly brat. Fifteen minutes wouldn’t hurt right? Tetsuya won’t come back this quickly after all. He reassured himself and kissed the shorter male on lips. “I can’t win you huh?” And Takao tackled him down again when he knew he succeeded in persuading. Good thing, they fell onto the coach.

It was really tiring to shop alone after all. He could have waited Midorima to go with him. Now that he had to carry all those heavy bags with him. Tetsuya thought while glancing at the bags which were piling under his feet. Thanks god that he was already in the elevator of their apartment building now. He wouldn’t need to walk that long. But even so, he didn’t really have a heart to let Midorima to carry for him. He knew that Midorima was always dead tired due to his work. Sometimes he wished Midorima could let himself cut some slacks. But knowing his husband, it would never happen. The green haired man was as stubborn as a mull after all. He smiled a little at the thought of his husband who always dedicated his all into his work.

“Ding Dong.” The teal haired man stopped thinking when the elevator stopped at 3rd floor. He quickly gathered the bags and got out of it before it closed again. “I made it.”

Tetsuya planned to knock but stopped when he was not sure if Midorima was already awake or not. “I better not disturb him.” So he fumbled with his own key and got into the house with several bags and muttered a quiet “tadaima”.

He found a foreign pair of sneakers at the doorway nearly placed beside Midorima’s. He frowned while rethinking any sort of guests that would explain this situation. He decided to just go in and check when he couldn’t think of anyone.

“Shin-” The bluenet halted in his actions when he heard a person moaning faintly. It was definitely a stranger’s voice. His mind was running extra million miles trying to figure out what that was exactly. Maybe Shin kun was just watching television? He couldn’t blindly blame himself that he was just hearing hallucinations because he knew clearly that it wasn’t just a mere dilemma he was feeling.

He tried to move his body which was already frozen. He had to. He needed to move. The teal haired boy slowly walked through the aisle and turned to the left which was the living room. If his heart was thumping loudly in his ribcage a while ago, he could sure that it already died right now. Maybe this time, he wanted to tell himself that he was just seeing hallucinations after walking too long under the sun. He must be really tired for seeing things like this. But a part of him knew that was it. It was all. It was the end. He felt like a soulless person while standing in front of the tangled figures on the couch who on top was his Shin kun, kissing the life out of the another man’s neck who was under the green haired man, moaning, urging to do more. Like a string cut off by a pair of scissors, Tetsuya’s inner self finally collapsed.

“Bang!” Midorima was startled by the sudden noise while he assumed Takao was also like that when the smaller male clutched onto him tighter. He widened his eyes praying not to be Tetsuya who did this while snapping his neck quickly towards the source of the sound. Kami-sama didn’t grunt his wish. The pale, small man was standing in front of them with head lowered, looking about to collapse any second with things he had bought scattered around the floor.

Midorima never felt this scared in his life before. He messed this up. He screwed this up. He knew it was over. Tetsuya looked broken and crushed even if he couldn’t see the younger’s face. Although the bluenet wasn’t moving, he was feeling like the distance between them was drawing further and further.

His mind was chanting.

Grab onto Tetsuya.

His mind was pleading.

Please do something.

His mind was begging.

Midorima! Do something!

He quickly stood up and extended one hand towards Tetsuya. “Tetsuya..” Midorima felt as if his heart was pierced by a chisel. Tetsuya took a step back. Tetsuya rejected him..for the first time.

“S-Shin chan” Takao tugged his shirt from behind. Midorima knew that he was also scared.

“Takao, go now. I..will contact you later.” Takao looked reluctant to leave Midorima alone but knowing his presence would only make things worse, he quickly straightened his clothes, brought his backpack and left the house not before taking a glance at the teal haired man and he knew at the moment that he had destroyed a family. There was no way Tetsuya could recover from this. His heart sank a little at this. Ah, was this guilt he feeling now? He finally left the house with the heaviest mind.

Now that only two of them left, Midorima sighed while taking another step to the other male only to get a retreating Tetsuya.

“Tetsuya..L..Listen to me.” the teal haired man showed no reaction, only backing one step after another while head still lowered, bangs securely covering his face.

“God dammit Tetsuya! Will you stop moving away and listen to me first?!” Midorima finally strode towards the smaller male and slammed the slender body against the wall, one hand lifting the other’s chin.

Midorima almost gasped out in shock. Waves of regrets buried him deep, suffocating him. Tetsuya’s eyes held nothing. Only..blankness. This blankness was nothing alike to his usual blankness. It was real blankness. Midorima didn’t know how to describe. Tetsuya looked like his body and soul were aloof. He was just like a doll without soul, a porcelain glass doll who was going to break just with a simple touch.

Why..why was he so selfish? Why did he commit such a sin? How dared he have a heart to hurt Tetsuya, when he, out of all people knew how much Tetsuya was vulnerable deep down and how he tried to cover that up with that façade? He should have realized this. He should have. He fucking should have.

The first ring of crystal droplets landed upon those pale cheeks. Another string followed right after but the soul was still detached. The scene shook Midorima like a hurricane. He felt so hollow in his body when he witnessed Tetsuya crying.

“W..why?”

“Why?”

“Why..did..you do..l..like this to m..e, Shin kun?” Midorima closed his eyes, trying hard not to breakdown. He tightened his grips onto those bony little shoulders, wanting to hold the little figure in his arms.

“Don’t.”

Midorima shocked.

“Don’t touch m..me.”

The taller male gritted his teeth.

“Please.”

The last mere whisper took him to the ground.

“I am sorry, Tetsuya. I am sorry. I..I am sorry.” Midorima chanted those words as if his life depended on him, clutching the smaller male’s pants, kneeing like a sinner, fearing the things waiting for him in the future.

It was painful. It was devastating. It was burning. Right here.

Tetsuya gripped onto his shirt which lied upon his heart in order to release some pain. Just like he thought, he couldn’t stand it when finally the ugly truth unfolded in front of him. He was wrong. He was pitifully wrong for expecting a happy ending. How naïve he was. He thought he would have the ending just like fairytales. How stupid he was. He thought his ‘Shin kun’ will get back to him. How pathetic he was.

“Will you come back to me again?”

He knew he was hopeless.

“…”

He was a disappointment.

“I..see.”

He was a shame.

“Have you ever loved me?”

The atmosphere was so dead. Nothing aliveness could be sensed. All the things screamed negative things. And Midorima was enhancing the feeling while sitting on the couch with his face buried deep in his hands. Tetsuya was gone. The teal haired man walked out of their apartment without a word. He didn’t even let Midorima take a step to stop him. Tetsuya was really gone. Tetsuya was no longer in his life. Tetsuya left him. Tetsuya. Tetsuya. Tetsuya.

The realization hit him hard. He no longer tried to conceal his emotions again. Midorima let himself cry, hands now clutching the only thing that returned to him, a golden ring with the words S and T engraved, his own one on the left ring finger, suffocating, blocking every blood to flow to his heart.

The last sentence from the vows he made on their wedding haunted him over and over, ‘I will only let you go when deaths do apart us’

Kagami opened the door only to be shocked by his friend’s pathetic form, clothes drenched from the rain that started pouring out of nowhere. He didn’t even wear a pair of shoes. Kagami could see blood oozing from the pale feet. But he stopped himself from uttering a word when he saw the blue haired male’s face. The taller red head pulled the smaller man into his hug, embracing tightly. This finally happened huh? Kagami suppressed the anger building up in his stomach. He couldn’t snap at this moment, not when Kuroko needed him the most.

The urge to kill a certain someone could wait.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Kuroko, come and eat. I made breakfast.” Kagami put two plates onto the table, one with his usual intake amount of food and another one for his friend, a small portion, as usual. It was ironic to prepare breakfast all over again just like when they were in high school. Kagami once thought that this kind of scenario would not happen so easily again for Kuroko rarely stayed over at his house since he got married. After all, he really took pride in keeping Midorima household as his daily responsibility.

 

Thinking about the green head, Kagami couldn’t help but sat down on one of his chairs. A sigh leaped out from his mouth, staring dazedly at the pile of food. Kuroko talked about the reason of his appearance at his doorstep last night after crying silently in Kagami’s embrace.

 

He was speechless. He never thought that Midorima of all people would do this kind of thing. He trusted the green haired the most among Kuroko’s admirers. Kuroko’s parents died in a car accident when he was young. His grandmother took him in but she also passed away about four years ago. Kagami was his friend since high school. He had known how much Kuroko had suffered in his life.

 

When Kuroko told him that he was going to marry with Midorima, Kagami thought his friend would finally be happy. Only if he knew those proclaimed happiness would last for a while, he would have stopped his friend, no matter what it took. After Kuroko had finished talking, Kagami was shaking with anger and trying to go to Midorima’s house. He would have already torn the bespectacled man if Kuroko didn’t stop him. The blue haired male also asked him not to go find the doctor and not to tell the others about this. Kagami wanted to shake Kuroko to stop defending the bastard even after all these things. Both of them were so worn out last night.

 

He didn’t have a heart to disobey his friend. He was a man who put his emotions ahead of his brain. But, if his friend said he wasn’t to touch Midorima, then he wouldn’t, at least not in front of him.

 

Kagami cursed under his breath with eyes filled with fury. His tightened fists were trembling slightly. The red head quickly clasped his hands, afraid that if he left them any longer, he would flip his house. But he was sure about one thing. Midorima would be damned if he met him again.

 

Kuroko heard Kagami call him for breakfast. The red head called him ‘Kuroko’ out of habit, he knew it. But the realization that he would no longer bear his husband’s surname ever again made him to let out a sob. Wait. He couldn’t even call Midorima his husband now, could he?

 

He wished he could curse at Midorima right in his face, lash out all his anger and disappointment towards the said man. How could he, how could he have a heart to do this when Kuroko just devoted all his being solely to the green haired man? He wanted to roll around the floor and cry his heart out, hoping by that way, he could empty all his emotions.

 

Instead, only a few whimpers let out from his chest, eyes more hollow than before, hands clenching the shirt in death grip, his petite form smaller than it actually was. He was angry, so angry, angry at himself for being so weak, for being so emotionally unstable, for being so easily wrecked, for being so fucking in love with Midorima Shintarou. A small bubble of laugher erupted despite the sting of tears in his eyes and coldness of them on his face. Wasn’t he able to escape from the shadow of that man yet? How ironic, he was always linked with shadows and he was still even now. Too ironic that it hurt.

 

Kagami sucked in a breath when Kuroko entered in vision. The young man was worn out, no, he was beyond wrecked. His eyes trailed on the slumped figure till it threw itself on the chair.

 

“Kagami kun, thank you so much. And… I am sorry… for imposing on you.” The teal haired man barely spoke, more like choked them out from his throat.

Kagami stood up, went to the other side and sunk his hand in the forest of blue, ruffling the soft locks before setting off to the living room to give some privacy for his friend. Kuroko let a tiny twist of lips which suspiciously looked like a smile adorned. That was Kagami’s way of saying _idiot, if you say sorry again, I am gonna kick you out._

 

“Thank you.” The slumped figure whispered.

Kuroko was alone right now. Kagami was off to his work though it was mostly because Kuroko forced him under the guarantee of he would call Kagami first when something happened. He wouldn’t be selfish and make Kagami stay with him just because he was cheated on. Being cheated on was nothing. It was just a petite case, really just a petite case. Kagami worked at a higher level at his father’s company and many other people needed him for _more important reasons_.

He could be of some actual help and do what he could do. After some moments, he found himself on top of a stool with a mop in hand. He couldn’t remember how he got onto this for what purpose. Realization set in when he saw bookshelf in front of his eyes.

 

“Ah, to clean.” He tried to reach the top of the shelf and his mind wondered back to the previous memories when he was cleaning Midorima’s bookshelf just like he was right now. And the next moment, he felt his body was floating in the air before his eyes wide open from the pain that suddenly went through his being.

 

He fell. Tetsuya was lying on the floor with the fallen stool, with a cut on his forehead. The small heap didn’t move. It remained still and the whole apartment felt eerily quiet until it came alive at the fill of a sob. Kuroko hugged himself tightly while more and more trying to curl into a small ball with the praying that he could actually disappear. If he could trade, he would trade the pain from his heart to replace with the pain on his body. Even if it would make him shed slashes of flesh and flows of flood, he was sure that it would hurt less. It would be bearable.

 

When Kagami came back, the whole apartment was silent. He quickly went to check the guestroom and found the smaller male was fast asleep, snugged against the pillow. The red head made absolute sure not to make any sound while approaching the sleeping figure. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he draped the blanket on the body.

 

He signed softly as he remembered what his father said this morning again. Groaning, the sitting male cupped his face and rubbed it harshly. There was no way he was going to agree that without Kuroko. Kuroko better agreed to what he was going to propose.

 

He tried to wake the sleeping man while ruffling the hair and that was then that he saw a small bandage on the forehead. Frowning, he shook the other’s shoulder. “Kuroko, hey buddy, wake up.” After a few shakes, the pair of blue orbs stared at the red head.

 

After being able to sense around the world quite well, Kuroko rubbed his eyes and tried to get up. “Kagami kun? You are already back. What time is it? I am sorry, I fell asleep. You are hungry, right? Please wait for a moment, I will prepare dinner right away.”

 

As much as this was the first time Kagami had heard Kuroko say this much words at once, he couldn’t be amused for so long when the latter was trying to get up.

 

“Woah woah, hold there buddy. You are not making anything. You are sleeping and resting as much as you want and there is nothing you need to say sorry.” Kagami sent a glare when the blue haired man tried to object which effectively shut the latter.

 

“And what happened to your forehead?” Kuroko winced a little when Kagami put a little too much force in touching the injured place. His friend was still the same. He never learned how to control his strength.

 

“Ah, it was nothing. I was just kind of careless.” Kagami grumbled, not liking the answer.

 

“Be more careful next time! What if you get hurt seriously?” Kuroko just chuckled softly at his friend’s behavior. Kagami scowled and huffed while getting up to prepare dinner. Though he would not admit it, he was more than relieved to hear his friend laugh. It was some kind of positive sign, right?

 

After they had had dinner and finished cleaning which Kuroko insisted to help, the teal haired man excused to his guestroom. Kagami quickly stopped the retreating male and made him to sit with an uneasy look. Kuroko raised an eyebrow at him for the strange behavior.

 

Kagami was refusing to look at Kuroko in the eyes and mumbling as if he was practicing to himself. The blue haired man signed. “Kagami kun, if you don’t mind, can you please speak quickly? I am sorry, but, I really want to rest right now.”

 

It was then that Kagami regained his senses and glanced at Kuroko with a serious look. “Ok, listen Kuroko. My dad called me from US today.” Kuroko nodded and probed the red head to continue.

 

“He said that he needs someone to take care of the business in US as he has to off to Hong Kong for expanding the business. He is planning to enter the market there. So, he kinda wants me to return to run the company.”

 

Kuroko’s heart dropped though he tried his best not to show on his face. His friend was leaving him. Now, he really has no one.

 

But then, he felt two strong arms wrapped around him. “Stop Tetsuya. I know what you are thinking.” Kagami knew. Of course he would. The red head would always sense when something was off with Kuroko.

 

“What I am trying to say is would you come with me to US?”

 

This time, Kuroko was really beyond shock.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short cuz I got lazy and was busy with work. But hope you will enjoy. And thank you to those who reviewed, bookmarked and gave out kudos.   
> And sorry for poor vocabulary and grammatical errors. English is really ugh.... difficult. Yeah, I am pathetic.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been three days since Kagami confronted Kuroko about the migration. The red head had given him time to consider. He also barely came home, being busy with the settlements he needed to take care of before moving. Kuroko appreciated the lack of the other’s presence. But he wouldn’t get time forever. Procrastination would also have to come to an end.

Procrastination, he had said. What was he trying to procrastinate? What was he hoping to achieve? What was he _waiting_ for? _Who_ was he _waiting_ for? Only he knew the thing his heart yearned for.

Maybe, maybe he still had a chance. No. This was the chance. They still weren’t over yet. And, and _that man_ would stop him. He would be back into _his_ arms, this nightmare would end. He just needed to _try_. His heart made him confide in. And he desperately clung to it.

 

 

Kuroko didn’t remember how he managed to reach to here. All he remembered were harsh ragged of breaths, the unbearable sting from his ribs, and the hardly pounding heart. After Kuroko had regained from his panting, he felt overwhelmed by being in this one neighborhood again, so familiar and yet felt so far away somehow. It was once a part of his life. But now, it only flooded him with memories. He felt a pang from his chest.

Kuroko was calm on the surface while walking past block after block slowly. But the noises in his head and heart betrayed the fake demeanor. Thousands of questions were being asked by himself. And he didn’t know how to answer most of them. Just like a helpless convict in front of the juries and the judge, his inner self gasped for support. His arms were the only support, unconsciously wrapped around his form in an attempt to help.

His feet stopped firmly when they reached the destination. Suddenly, Kuroko knew how much a stupid idea it was to come here in the first place. His throat parched with dread. And at that moment, his brain decided it was the best timing to recall that day’s scene.

_“Will you come back to me again?”_

_“…”_

_“I..see.” “Have you ever loved me?”_

The scene pulled him out to reality. He smiled sadly. He didn’t even know if he should be glad or not to be reminded like that. The teal haired male let out a breath shakily. With a firm hand on the doorknob, he set his foot inside the apartment. He guessed it was time to start over.

 

 

Kagami nearly snapped his neck when he heard a click from the front door and then a blue head followed. He was sick worried. He thought something happened to Kuroko. When he was back from work, the latter was nowhere in sight. The shoes were gone along with the man. He didn’t know where to go and find. It was too risky to phone the rest of the GOM. They would get suspicious right away. He didn’t dare to go outside and wander around either. It wouldn’t do any good if Kuroko came back by any chance. He was already this close to report to police. Now, just like a huge stone was lifted off his chest, he had never felt so relieved in his life. Along with the relief, anger emerged.

Kagami took off to Kuroko who was now stunned by his sudden movement.

“Ka-” Kuroko winced when he was pushed against the wall with a great force.

“You- Where have you been all the time?! Don’t you know how worried I am?! I-I thought you-” Kagami was cut off when he felt a pair of arms hug his middle.

 “I am sorry.” The red head finally calmed down a little and let out a sigh. He knew Kuroko meant those words. He wouldn’t even bother to say if he didn’t mean it. Kagami let his big hand thread through the endless sea of blue.

 After sensing the taller male had already forgiven him - at least for a little even if it’s not completely, Kuroko retreated back from the embrace to have some talk.

 “Kagami kun, I have something to tell you.” Kagami nodded and let him continue.

 “I- if it is not that much of a trouble for- you, I would like to go with you, to America.” Kagami just then noticed a few bags behind Kuroko near the front door. The blue haired male was fidgeting with his shirt when he stated that.

 Kagami’s eyes grew warm at the sight. That idiot must be thinking things like burdening the red head. Kagami patted the blue head once again which caused Kuroko to look up.

 “Troubling? Really, Kuroko? What do you think friends are for, huh? And you know what, I am glad, I am more than glad that you are coming with me. It makes me really, really happy. And we are gonna celebrate that. I made dishes, I mean sort of. Well, it is not my fault. You were missing and though I told myself that you would be fine, I just-” A puff of air went out of Kagami’s mouth when he was once again engulfed in a tight embrace.

“Thank you, Kagami kun! Thank you so much. I-I just thank you.” Kagami let out a chortle.

“Well, dude, what are you being this cheesy for? You are becoming like Kise.” Kuroko also laughed at that.

Though he was not doing fine, he would get through this. He will get over Midorima. His wound would heal because there was his best friend by his side. And with a little help from time, he dream to renew, reborn, resurface.

“We are leaving next week.”

Kuroko dreamt of a little blue bird spreading his wings for a fly that night.

 

 

“I am hom-” Midorima stopped in mid-sentence when he remembered no one was there except for himself.

He hadn’t been back here for more than two weeks already. He had been burying himself in work. Today, he was forced to take a leave. Maybe, finally, his colleagues were already sick of him wandering around the workplace with a face that yelled murder. The only person he kept in touch was Takao. The latter always phoned him, asking him his whereabouts and to come to his place if he didn’t feel like going back to home. He refused Takao. He just felt like indulging with the latter more would just bring him back more memories about the broken Kuroko from that day. He was getting enough guilt eating him alive already. He didn’t need extra load added.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t expect Kuroko to be smiling and welcoming him home when he stepped his feet inside the house. But to his no avail, his husband wasn’t there. The whole house was lifeless. He took the days when we would be greeted with smells of home cooked meals and warm hugs from his husband for granted. He regretted and he was sure he deserved to go to hell more than anyone.

Midorima groaned when the flashback of Kuroko’s crying face came to him again. He had sworn to himself he would never make him cry or let him cry. But he just broke that promise with his own hand. Groaning, Midorima moved from his frozen place straight towards his bathroom. Without shedding any clothes, he got into the hot shower, slowly sliding down against the wall, water flowing all over his body steadily. He curled into a ball with arms around himself. And as if on cue, Midorima let himself break. For the first time in his life, Midorima Shintarou, 27 years old, an excellent professional in his career, allow himself to weep like a little kid.

 

 

Midorima was woken when he heard strings of bells ringing from outside of his house. He groaned and let his eyes wander to the table clock on his bedside table, indicating 9 a.m. in blood red letters. He assumed he passed out straight after his mini outburst. He sighed and sent a piece of his mind whoever was abusing his doorbell. Midorima waddled from his bedroom and stifled a yawn before opening the front door. 

In front of him was a boy, a mail carrier to be precise. He wondered who would send him a letter or the boy might have mistaken. He was snapped out of his thought when the boy asked a question.

“Are you Midorima Shintarou?” Midorima nodded which visibly brightened the mailman.

“Oh thanks god! I was here for days already. You always seemed not to be home. Here is your parcel, sir. Could you sign here please?”

The boy left, shouting a ‘thanks’ after Midorima had given his sign. He closed the door behind him before proceeding to his couch. He sat down and opened the parcel with a curious mind. He frowned in confusion when the parcel turned out to be nothing but some paperwork.

It was put in a transparent file. He then remembered to get his glasses when he couldn’t make a word out.

Finally with his glasses on his face, he started to read what it was about. After reading, Midorima couldn’t help but to sink into the couch more, the paper long forgotten on the desk.

He felt the whole world grew silent aside from his frantically beating heart. He must have read it wrong. There was no way it could be right. Tetsuya wouldn’t do this, he wouldn’t. Midorima strongly believed that they would be well again. He was planning to apologize. He was just giving both he and the latter time. He knew that Tetsuya would come back to him. After all, he knew how much his husband loved him.

Midorima sucked in a breath when it hit him. No no no. It couldn’t be. Who said it was allowed? With whose consent did the teal haired man do this? He wouldn’t agree. He quickly looked at the address on the parcel. The address indicated that it was sent from Kagami’s place. Midorima quickly changed his clothes and went out, hoping he would get to there in a flash of eyes. He didn’t care even if he got punched by Kagami or not. He needed an explanation from Tetsuya.

The divorce contract long forgotten on the ground with a certain man’s signature at the bottom.

 

 

Midorima couldn’t control the emotions he was feeling right now. He felt rage and then sadness and guilt and worry washed over him in full course, rage for Kuroko for doing this to him, sadness and guilt for he was the main reason to turn out like this, worry for all of these would be the cruel reality. He sprint his car towards the said address. He didn’t even care when he was about to run over by two large trucks. Finally, he pulled over the car when he reached the certain address.

Midorima quickly got out of the car and practically ran towards the building. He got into the elevator, waited with the biggest anxiety before it stopped with a final ding.

He pounded onto the red head’s door while yelling to open up. He just kept on pounding, hoping that anyone would come and answer the damn door. Midorima was on the verge of breaking the door down when someone stopped him.

He turned towards the intruder and found that it was an elderly woman in her sixties.

“Are you friend with the owner of the house?” She asked in that utterly soft voice. Midorima couldn’t do nothing but nod.

“Poor young man, you came here for nothing then.” Midorima was dumbfounded. Why did she say that? He was sure that this was the address. He came here for a couple times, there was no way he would be wrong.

“Ex-Excuse me? What do you mean?”

“He moved. To America for his work. He even came and said goodbye to me. I am gonna miss him. He was such a nice boy when he was here, though he seemed to be a bit of a boy who didn’t know how to express his emotions.”

Midorima couldn’t hear the rest. His mind was running with loads of questions. Moved. Moved to America. Kagami moved to America. Then, what about Tetsuya? What about his husband? He… Oh no, that was bad.

“Did-Did he go alone? I mean was there any other person with him? A-A man with blue haired, around this height? Did that person also move with Kagami?”

“Oh you mean the silent boy? Yes dear. If I am not wrong, that pretty boy might also tag along. Kagami kind of mentioned that he would go with that friend of his.”

“Ho-how long were they gone?”

“Umm, about a week ago? …. Oh dear, I am sorry but I have to go now. Nice meeting you there. See you, young man.”

Midorima didn’t know what to do. He was here determined to take Kuroko back. But, it seemed like he was late. He was too late.

He suddenly understood how much he had hurt the younger male, to the point that he chose to run from him. He no longer could pretend that he was fine. He let his tears fall while saying ‘sorry’ over and over and over. He wished he could rewind. He wished he could go back in time. He wished all of these were dreams but he could only wish.

He was such a bad man that his wishes remained unheard by gods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy. Oh my god, I promised to update in one week but it somehow passed? ahaha *sweatdrop*   
> I am sorry. It was just - umm I was having some hard times but it's all good now! After ignoring them lol   
> Anyway, thank you for reading, liking and reviewing. Like always, I dun own knb though I wish. Also, please ignore my horrible English.


	5. Chapter 5

“Make sure you call me when you arrive there. And have you already contacted the landlord? And seriously, why won’t you just live at my apartment? It’s not like anyone live there. Oh and what about-?” 

“Taiga-kun, calm down. Everything is taken care of. And yes, I will call you when I arrive there, not immediately, considering different time zones. Your apartment is too big for me. What if I feel lonely and miss you so much?” The blue haired man teased a bit which caused the red head’s face to redden uncontrollably.

“I-Idiot!” The big man’s stutter put a small smile on Kuroko’s face.

“Tetsu-kun, I have already made sure over there. Someone will come and pick you up at the airport when your plane lands. And no, you don’t get to say ‘no’. You don’t know the address and you get lost easily. And when you have troubles or anything uncomfortable or whatever, we won’t hesitate to fly over there. And I will miss you. So much.” The woman was nearly crying. She was probably trying not to though, judging by her face. Kuroko shook his head fondly at his friends’ behaviors. They were just worrywarts when it came to him. And it was so endearing that sometimes he just wanted to hug those two to death. Of course, there was no way he would let them know.

Kuroko spread his arms towards Momoi, whose steel will to-not-cry crumbled, literally leapt into his arms. Kuroko just patted the woman’s head with Kagami watching the scene with a smile.

“Satsuki-san, thank you very much for all the things you have done for me. Thank you. And yes, I don’t doubt your little declaration about flying over there. I will also miss you.” Kuroko said softly while Momoi just shook her head weakly at Kuroko’s gratitude towards her.

After Momoi had cried enough, she backed off a little for Kagami to have a parting time with his best friend. Kagami didn’t even pretend it was too sappy, he just hugged Kuroko in his bro-hug, squeezing him a bit too tight, but discomfort wasn’t there. He also returned the hug, by rubbing the red head’s back up and down.

“Taiga-kun isn’t being tsun-tsun today.” Kuroko murmured and let out a chuckle.

Kagami just grumbled and he wasn’t guilty at all to pinch Kuroko’s back. “Shut up and stop being an asshole. Sometimes I just can’t believe you.”

“That I am too awesome for my own good?” Kuroko couldn’t help but let out a full blown laugh when he saw Kagami’s grimaced face.

Momoi then came back, her eyes red from all bawling. “Guys, it’s time to go. Tetsu-kun, call me from time to time. By time to time, I mean twice a week or more.” Kuroko affectionately ruffled her hair a bit.

“Hey, you sure won’t wait for him? I am sure he would already know by this time.” Kagami said while glancing at his watch a bit.

“No. I am sure he would try to abduct me from getting on board if I met him right now. Just please tell him that I am sorry for leaving without a proper goodbye and that I am thankful for everything he had done for me.”

“Great. Now, I will be stuck with him throwing tantrums for weeks. Or worse, tried to talk my ears off about his feelings for hours.” Kagami paled when he realized how much trouble he would have later.

Kuroko was amused just with the idea alone. “Good luck to you.”

Kagami could sense that the little shit was enjoying his misfortune just a little too much. “Bastard.”

The three of them doing a group hug thing before Kuroko actually got on the plane and he didn’t miss the way Kagami tightened the hug nor he missed the way Momoi clenched his shirt a bit too hard.

Parting was never easy. However, he had learnt that it was a whole lot better than having to part with remorse and wrong doings. He learnt it the hard way.

  


  


Now that, Kuroko was seated on the plain, he began to contemplate his past years, living in US. A lot of things happened. Kuroko had been wrecked. He had been rebuilt. He had given things up. He had also made the right choices and decisions. He had also survived a lot of emotional crisis when he did think he was done for. The most important thing he learnt was that learning to accept the situations and conditions is the first step to take, and then, it would be easier to proceed. And the fact that he wasn’t alone all those times made his chest fizzy with all warmth. Kuroko looked at his phone screen for the last time before putting it away, having a photo of him, Kagami and Momoi set as a background on the screen.

And now, he needed rest as much as he could. Because he was starting things all over again, from 0. And Kuroko wasn’t naïve to think it would be easier for he knew it wouldn’t and Kuroko also wouldn’t ask for it to become easier either. It was time to find his pace again. He had tried and had successfully escaped from the matters he wanted to. He had been hiding enough. He should stop running and think where he wanted to head to from this moment. And he knew going back to Japan would be a great spot to start. America was good but his heart craved and knew the place where he really belonged. He couldn’t deny it.

Kuroko slowly lost conscious as time went by. He had changed. And he had already expected the others would too. And Kuroko didn’t feel slightest about it because it was the way it should. After all, five years had passed.

  


  


Kuroko did find the person who was forced by Momoi to pick him up from the airport. The blue haired man did feel a slight guilt for the young man who couldn’t be more than twenty. Of course, he would rather party outside than having to do a driver for some stranger. It was Friday night for god’s sake. He was like a little brother to Momoi since they were young by his words. And it seemed like the young man knew better than to oppose the woman which Kuroko strongly agreed for he had witnessed the young woman’s wrath more than once. Kagami had suffered more.

He looked out of the car’s window, taking in everything presented to his eyes. He thought he still would be familiar. But he was wrong. Why would he even think like that? He was not a wandering person in the past or even now. So, it was completely normal for little familiarity he had would leave nothing by now. All of a sudden, he felt so small. He was all alone in here now. There would be no Kagami or Momoi he could flee to. The rush of feelings was just like he felt back in the years, when he had fist left the orphanage, too helpless, too frightened. Kuroko held his backpack slightly tighter around his chest.

They pulled off in front of the apartment building he was supposed to live from now on. The kid actually helped him carry his stuff, which Kuroko was really grateful. If he had to name the only thing that didn’t change would be his awfully bad stamina. He was already beat though he barely moved at all. And his jet lag wasn’t doing any better. He would just pass out there if he had to carry all the bags into the apartment which was located on third floor.

After piling his stuffs in front of the door, he gave the kid some pocket money by force since the kid was refusing with all the head shakings. He at least deserved some rewards. Kuroko then, went to find the landlord just like Momoi ordered him. At the landlord, he did the documenting he needed to and retreated back to his with the key. It didn’t take a lot of time at Kumura-san, the landlord, since he had already settled the payment over there. And the old lady was really nice to Kuroko which Kuroko found out that she lived alone since her husband passed away seven years ago. However, she was really contented with her cats. And when he came back from her, it costed a lot of his barely left strength to move all the things inside.

The apartment was small, but nice. It was neat and clean, which was a must for Kuroko. It consisted of a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen, a living room with a small table in the middle, and finally a window. Kuroko padded towards the window and opened it up, only to be awed by the scene in front of him. Since the place was on third floor, it could see the surrounding from here. However, the view was more incredible than Kuroko imagined. Not only could he see the city, he could also see the sky clearly. It was as expected of Momoi, to find such a nice place.

After that, Kuroko closed the window (Winter was no kidding in Japan), sat in front of the small table in the living room and took out his phone. He did get a sim card on the way here. When he opened the internet, he got tons of emails in his mail box, courtesy of a certain man named, Himuro Tatsuya. He didn’t bother to check them up for he still didn’t possess enough energy to deal with the older male. Himuro was practically a Kise deep down. The only difference was the elder was not all bouncy on the surface just like a certain someone. However, he knew better not to judge a person by his looks after being smothered by Tatsuya for like five years. He was even worse than Kise when he wanted attention. Kise would cower a little if Kuroko scolded him. But for Himuro, nothing worked. He just ignored with his prince charming smile. He typed two emails quick, one to Kagami and another to Momoi, to inform them of his arrival and thanks the latter for the great apartment. For Himuro, he would deal with him later.

After taking the shower, he decided to sleep in the living room since he hadn’t bought anything yet. Momoi and Kagami insisted and even sneaked to buy themselves which Kuroko caught them and gave a lecture about not asking permission from a person. There was no way Kuroko would let them to do so, he had saved up a little from his work after all, he could afford it and it was not like he would need lots of things. His two friends also needed to think for themselves. Sure, Kagami was doing at his father’s company and was well off. However, the company nearly went bankruptcy two years ago since his father had to be hospitalized. It was just starting to rotate again after Kagami’s effort. And you know how competitive business world was. And for Momoi, she was just starting to achieve her dream of having her own company and brand in clothing industry. And Kuroko would never have a heart to use his friends’ money.

Kuroko made a bed with his clothes on the floor and lied on it, staring at the ceiling. He would have to go shopping tomorrow and reminded himself to thank the landlord lady for cleaning this apartment. At least, he wouldn’t have to sleep in a pile of dust tonight. 

  


  


The first week passed away rather quickly. He already had made video calls with Momoi and Kagami twice which the former was really pleased. And for Himuro, Kuroko was replying the emails now, after being threatened to fly to Kuroko if he didn’t. His apartment was also filled with things that it really looked like a true home now. In his spare time, he would go over to Kumura-san and accompanied her. Kuroko loved the old lady because she reminded him a lot of his grandmother. Besides, her cats also took a liking to him which the old lady found it very pleasing. According to her words, her cats were usually assholes to other people.

He also contacted the new kindergarten he would be working at. The pay wasn’t bad, it was more than enough for him to live on. And he’s still writing books as an extra job which was a whole new category he developed over there. Now, Kuroko was just lazing on the sofa, with laptop on his laps, typing words every now and then when inspiration struck. He knew he needed a break when he finally realized that his words had been stuck at that one place for the past three hours or so.

Kuroko sighed, closing his laptop and decided to go to that café he found two days ago. He changed into decent clothing and put on his coat, locked the door and proceeded towards his destination. It was far from his apartment but he didn’t mind walking when he could see all the beautiful things about winter. Besides, he didn’t have anything to do so why in a hurry.

He went inside the café and he was instantly greeted with the aroma of coffee and pastries and Kuroko felt so warm and pleased. He did make a right choice about taking a break and coming here. He ordered his coffee and food, paid for them and went to sit down by the window at the very back of the shop.

It was really comfortable to just sit there, lazily sipped on his coffee without having to worry about anything in particular. However, he should know that nothing lasts forever, even this tranquil peace when he heard a voice, when he name was called out in that familiar manner to be exact.

_“Kuro..kocchi?”_

Kuroko could hear his heart thumping in his chest when he slowly turned his head towards the voice. There greeting him was Kise, all golden and beautiful and handsome, if not seeming more mature and grown up since the last time he saw him. And at the same time, he could see various emotions flashing in those golden orbs – surprise, bewilderment, happiness, excitement and fury.

Kuroko thought he would get tackled down just like he used to be, instead Kise calmed walked towards him, eyes never leaving the blue orbs, doubt in eyes like he still couldn’t believe what he was seeing. However, Kuroko knew Kise was nervous as fuck, the latter was literally wobbling, and Kuroko was worried he might fall for a second there. Time passed awfully slow at the moment. Kuroko thought it only existed in movies but apparently, he was wrong. He couldn’t move either, he just stared into the eyes that were currently sucking him all in. When Kise finally reached in front of him, Kuroko hitched a breath because those eyes held so many emotions. The intensity tempting him to look away.

“Hey there, Kise-kun.” Kuroko barely whispered while still eyeing the man. After he had said those words, as if on cue, Kise broke down, he just dropped on his kneels in front of the seated male and began sobbing, hands frantically searching Kuroko’s presence as if the blonde was convincing himself that Kuroko was here, that the person in front of him was indeed the blue haired man while chanting Kuroko’s name like a mantra.

Kuroko shh-ed the male, trying his best to stop the panic man. However, it seemed that Kise’s brain already shut out, he just wouldn’t calm down. As the last resort, Kuroko did what he thought the blonde needed the most. He cupped the latter’s face and looked into those eyes, while slightly shaking him.

“Kise-kun, look at me. That’s right. Now, breathe. Good, and you will hurt your hands, try to loosen your grip. I am not going anywhere so you can, ok?” Kuroko talked to Kise just like explaining things to a five-year old kid. He spoke in a hushed, soothed voice, scared that if he raised his voice ever so slightly, the blonde would bawl over again.

When Kise finally believed that Kuroko wasn’t going away not anytime soon, he seemed relaxed, at least a little. But, as soon as he relaxed, he started to cry again, which was starting to draw the attentions of the shop’s staffs though Kuroko and Kise were practically the only guests right now. Kuroko quickly pulled Kise with him and exited the shop, heading to the park near from here, with Kise crying and trailing like a kid behind Kuroko, with Kise’s hand holding Kuroko’s in a death grip.

  


  


Kuroko rubbed little circles on Kise’s thumb which was still holding him tightly as to soothe the much larger man. Good thing they were hidden from people’s sights. They were sitting side by side on a bench in the park, and Kuroko waited for Kise to finish. After what seemed like an eternity, Kise finally stopped crying and only sobbing now.

“Can I h-hug you, Kurokocchi?” Kuroko was startled when Kise spoke. Kuroko looked at the now still-sobbing-supposed-to-be-adult and let out a sigh.

“C’mere.” Kuroko opened his arms and Kise practically perked at the invitation. Guess some things never change. They just sat there quietly, in each other’s arms, Kise occasionally shuddered from all of the sobbing, Kuroko rubbing the other’s back up and down whenever Kise resumed crying.

They lasted for about an hour before Kise had to go back to work, a photoshoot to be presice, which happened to be around here today. Kise was still modelling, but right now, he was more of an actor, the most famous one in Japan and even has his popularity all over the globe at that, no wonder the staffs from the shop were ogling at him, which Kise defended that he really did a disguise not to attract attentions which failed miserably due to his bawling. They only hoped his cover wasn’t entirely blown off, but maybe it wasn’t for he wouldn’t be able to sit here if the news press really did informed. Kuroko wasn’t one that kept up with the current showbiz world, it wasn’t no surprise he didn’t know about it at all. However, Kuroko felt a certain pride to see his friend all good and fine. He knew that Kise would be making his name out there since the beginning.

“Ca-Can I at least send you home?” Kuroko really didn’t have a heart to reject when Kise was looking at him with his eyes full of hope. So, he did let him drive his home (he parked his car near the café, which they had to go back to get it) and Kise took his numbers rather forcefully. Kuroko just let him be, what could he do when the blonde was just shining with all the happiness.

“Kise-kun, could you please not tell the others about this encounter? I am not ready to face them yet. I ran off without a word and disappeared for five years. I am sure they won’t digest the information well, either. So please? I will tell them myself when I am ready.”

“Ok. I understand, Kurokocchi. I won’t tell a soul.” Kise paused for a while, seeming to contemplate to say the next words or not, but he did anyway.

“About midorimachi-”

“Not now, Kise-kun. I’m- I don’t want to discuss this yet. You and I had a hard day. Let’s- Let’s talk another time, ok?”

“…Ok… I will contact you.” With that, Kise left.

  


  


The things Kuroko was scared of the most were happening. He didn’t think he would have to deal with it this soon. He avoided all and left without a sound because he knew that he would be reminded of that person constantly if he lurked around in the surrounding which had so many images and memories of that person. That was childish and impossibly selfish. But Kuroko didn’t know what to do to escape from the pain. He did the decision selfishly and now it was coming to bite him back again. Now, he was the one who wanted to cry.

Kuroko silently made his way to his apartment and locked it behind him. He slid his back down against the door and hugged his knees closed to his chest, his face buried away from the world. He thought he would be able to handle this by now. He thought he would be mature and let it flow away by now. But he was wrong. It still wasn’t enough. The walls he built around his true emotions weren’t enough. He had succeeded in acting like he already got this through in front of his friends, not wanting them to be worried or they already knew he was pretending and just chose to play along, but everyone was happier, whether it was just a pretend or not. And he really was slowly getting to there, to forget that very person. Now, because of Kise, who was a part of the reminder of his hidden memories, he nearly lost himself. He needed to try more. He wanted to. They said ‘time healed’. But how long still he had to wait for that? Until that time, he would need to guard his emotions, tighter, more secluded.

Kuroko didn’t sleep that night.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy.
> 
> Thank you for those who reviewed, gave out kudos and read this fic. Your comments and kudos really make my day.


	6. Chapter 6

“A-Akashichi, I-I have something – I got a call from –” Kise mumbled while trying to force the words out of his throat - amid chokes and sobs - which felt so foreign and poisonous on his own tongue. He didn’t even know what he was saying since waves of various feelings took control of his body’s functioning – mostly shock – his heart and pulses nosily beating and jumping in his body. But before he finished speaking, he got interrupted with a calmed but a voice laced clearly with fury.

“Ryouta, go and stop Daiki before he goes too far, which is apparently bound to happen if nobody stops him. He’s probably at Midorima’s now. Atsushi and I are on our ways too.” Kise knew that Akashi was trying to be the calmest among them. He needed to. That was how it was since the beginning. Akashi, the calm and reasonable one, who led and guided them as if he took the role of their father figure. But Kise also knew that Akashi was blaming himself now for this matter to be happened, right in front of his eyes, like he was at fault for not being able to notice this and solve it before ended up like this. He let his two precious people crumpled, one was like his real brother and one was the love of his life. Kise’s heart sank, tears prickling in his eyes, all the while getting more and more rage towards Midorima. They should just let Aomine had his way.

“Although Shintarou clearly deservesto pay for what he has done, we can’t. Daiki should never be the one who does the dirty job. Never.” Akashi must have guessed what his mind thought, _Shintarou is like our brother_ left unsaid. And because of that fact, they were more pained. They gave up Kuroko because it was him. They put Kuroko’s hand into his because it was him. They believed Kuroko would never have to shed a tear if it were with him. But this hollow feeling, this bitter taste inside their hearts, which constantly reminding them what they believed right was wrong. It was too suffocating.

“Now go, Ryouta.” Kise sucked in a breath when Akashi sounded so tired and wrecked. It was the first time he heard of it. He closed his eyes shut before nodding to himself or Akashi, he didn’t know and the call was cut off.

 

 

Kisesprinted his car at full speed, not caring if he got caught or not. All the rules be damned. Right now, he just wished to reach to Midorima’s place, cursing not to be too late, adrenaline pumping in his head. He stupidly wanted to believe this was a dream. He recalled this morning when Midorima made him a call at 4 in the morning, which worried him because Midorima never did such calling-at-godly-hour thing. His suspicion was confirmed with the way Midorima sounded. He sounded so painful and too wasted – probably from the amount of alcohol he consumed - just like a wounded hound. And then, he confessed his sin, one by one, forcing every word out. He shook his head wanting to forget the trepidation he felt back then. Midorima must have called the others after he was done talking with Ryouta.

“Fuck.” He could do nothing but to curse at this cruel reality.

 

 

The front door of Midorima’s apartment was opened when Kise arrived. He stormed inside and the sight in front of him froze him up. He felt his limbs turn cold, throat parched up, panics starting to build up inside his chest.

There was Aomine who was beating the hell out of Midorima, with the latter under him. Aomine was throwing punches after punches towards Midorima’s face which was messed up with bruises and blood. And Midorima did nothing to retaliate, not even covering himself from all the blows raining over his body as if he expected to receive all of these. As if he was thinking to repay all the fucked up mistakes by letting Aomine do whatever the fuck he wanted, which made Kise’s blood boiled. Midorima might have thought he could lessen his wrong beings at least a little by staying like this. No, he couldn’t. That was just a coward’s act, by resigning his fate into the other’s hands when he didn’t even try to wash his faults with his acts. If he was fucking sorry for all the things he fucked up, then he should fucking try to redeem, try to earn the forgiveness, not just lying there acting like he was repaying while he was just being selfish and let others to do the job for him. Akashi was right. Aomine didn’t deserve it.

“Stop! Stop it! Aominechi!”Kise wrapped his arms around Aomine’s torso from behind, effectively locking the arms. Kise bared his teeth, determined not to make the latter escape.

Aomine struggled with his strength, “Fuck! Kise! Let me go! I have to- I need to kill this fucker! How dare he- Tetsu doesn’t deserve this!” Tears spilling from his eyes, all the while trying to escape from Kise, growling, flaring, eyes burning with anger and hatred.

“Calm down! It won’t do you any good if you kill him either!” Kise barely could retain Aomine, with his wild side fully presented. And Kise felt a sharp pain went through his abdomen and sent flying to the wall, wincing when his back collided with it not so lightly. Aomine kicked him. Kise tried his best to breathe but damn Aomine and his inhuman strength, he glanced at the other two while groaning in pain. Aomine was just like a wild animal, ready to rip Midorima into pieces. Kise pushed himself up and tackled Aomine off Midorima, pinning the mad man under him, aimed a punch to the jaw which took the punched man off guard.

“Do you think Kurokocchi would be happy to know you were ripping off each other? He fucking won’t. He didn’t even want us to know that he chose to go to Kagamichi. And don’t be the second person to fuck up what little trust Kurokocchi left in us.” Kise spit those words viciously, voice low and ominous.

Aomine glared back with the same intensity. “I don’t fucking care. If he hurts Tetsu, then he’s going to hell.” Then, Kise was suddenly flipped over with Aomine on top of him and next, he felt his jaw connected with Aomine’s fist.

“Fuck you!”Kise raged, ready to pounce back. Just when he was about to, a voice stopped them.

“Ryouta! Stop! And Atsushi, restrain Aomine, use violence if necessary!” There stood Akashi and Murasakibara, looking disheveled, panting heavily.

Murasakibara quickly got a hold on Aomine before he could react. But it didn’t go easy when Aomine tried to also attack the taller man. Murasakibara let out a sigh, mouthing a _sorry, minechin_ and knelt him in the stomach, which was hard enough to knock Aomine out in the other man’s arms.

After making sure that Aomine was somehow controlled, Akashi went to help Kise up. “Ryouta, are you ok?”

Kise let Akashi help him get up and wiped the blood off the corner of his mouth, hand clenching his stomach to lessen the pain from previous kick, winced out “I am fine Akashichi, nothing I can’t handle.”

Akashi nodded and finally, went to stand beside the last lying figure on the floor. Midorima was on the verge of passing out, with all the alcohol and beatings he got from Aomine but Akashi knew that he could still hear and know that all of them were here. And he was sure the doctor would still remember his words when he gained consciousness.

“You disappoint me, Shintarou. So much. However, I understand why you did that.” Kisewas about to protest but Akashi stopped him with a raised hand.

“It just means that you are also on the same level as those people with filthy mind. I will just assume that it was our fault for placing trust in you when you don’t deserve such a thing. Apparently, the expectation we had upon you was too high. I guess being loyal was just too difficult for you. You didn’t make a bad choice, Shintarou. You thought that person was better than Tetsuya so you chose him. It was not your fault. Who am I to you to say that you are at fault? The ones at fault and the ones who made a bad choice were us. We convinced and assumed your standard as par level with us. But, I still thank you for letting us and Tetsuya realize what kind of _thing_ we have been meddling ourselves with.”

Akashi then called an ambulance from the hospital that Midorima’s folks owned. They should know and see what his son looked like. Akashi didn’t even feel sorry to involve them. He still remembered they treated Kuroko nothing more than an extra maid. _Orphan, Penniless, Low standard._ Those were Kuroko’s titles for them. Akashi gritted his teeth and started heading towards the door.

“Atsushi, Ryouta, let’s go.”

Kise took the last glance at Midorima before following Akashi. Akashi chose to attack verbally which would leave deeper and more lasting scars than physical assaults. Even Kise felt a little guilt at those words. However, he wouldn’t doubt Akashi. If anyone he would trust wholeheartedly, it would be Akashi. He knew Midorima needed that and Kise knew he was right. If Kise, the third person, also felt like this, it would be more difficult for Akashi to say out those words to the person who once had been one of the people who Akashi regarded as his family.

Kise got back home feeling nothing.

 

 

That day, Aomine was nursed back to life at Akashi’s place. Kise didn’t follow to Akashi’s house because he was sure that he and Aomine would be at each other’s throat again once the latter gained consciousness. Akashi also decided that it would be better if he had a talk with Aomine, to cool off whatever steams he had left.

Akashi not only had to calm Aomine down and stop him from doing stupid stuffs again, he also had to make Murasakibara be himself again. Because the giant actually stopped consuming his snacks for about a week. He was always staring at the sky or nothing in particular, and then curled up in his bed.

Murasakibara was a giant with a kid’s mind. He barely talked and revealed his feelings, he just didn’t know how to. What he had in his mind for Kuroko was just like to that of a child’s fondness and love for his mother, so pure, so endearing. Even before Kuroko left, the giant went to visit the former on daily basis or Kuroko would go to the bigger man’s shop just for simply enjoying each other’s accompany. Sometimes, Kise saw them hanging out together and the things they did together were just too adorable and endearing that he just sat down and watched over them with a big grin of his own – for example, Kuroko would explain a particular paragraph from the book he was reading to Murasakibara and the latter would listen to it attentively, lack of usual boredom on his face. It was also Kuroko who helped him with whatever problems he was having when Akashi was off on his business trips (which was too often).

Now, Kuroko was gone, like he was never going to come back. Just the thought alone made Murasakibara lost his appetite. His mind somehow didn’t accept it and there were countless times Kise had to drag Murasakibara back from wandering around Kuroko and Midorima’s apartment. Whenever Kise reminded the big man that Kuroko was not here and would not be, Murasakibara always made that kind of face which Kise had to look away. He was finally convinced that his Kurochin was indeed gone after about four months. But sometimes, Kise and the others caught him at Maji Burger staring at a vanilla milkshake placed in front of him. They would always pretend they didn’t see him, giving him some time alone. It was absurd, because Murasakibarsa didn’t even drink vanilla milkshakes.

 

 

Kise and Aomine didn’t talk for two weeks after that incident with Midorima. They would scowl at each other and walk away even if they met accidentally on road and it was starting to get ridiculous for everyone to watch. Finally, Akashi snapped and locked them inside his study and waited outside with Murasakibara in tow. They didn’t dare to walk out of the room when Akashi clearly stated with his eyes that promised death if they didn’t settle it down. They were awkward at first, not knowing what to say. And they didn’t know how they ended up punching each other again while throwing insults at each other. They didn’t care whether they were being too loud or not because hey, the room was sound proof and they didn’t need to worry about being interrupted this time either for Akashi had let them talk to their hearts content, promising they wouldn’t disturb. They indeed talked each other but with their fists and insults. But they clearly didn’t do well with words for their lack of vocabulary and so on because the insults were only rotating around _stupid model_ , _Ahomine_ and _fuck you_ here and there.

At one point, they took notice of it and both burst out laughing, hands clenching their stomachs, wincing in pain when they spread their mouths to laugh and the wounds hurt, sitting side by side with their backs leaning against the wall. Aomine then told Kise that he still loved Kuroko which didn’t surprise the latter because he also was the same which he earned a glare when he voiced it out. However, Aomineproceeded with the words, pretending he didn’t hear Kise. He said it was him who made himself lose Kuroko to Midorima. Kise was shocked when Aomine said Kuroko and he dated during middle school. To be honest, it really wasn’t a surprise for they were always sticking together back then. He took Kuroko for granted. Whenever he made Kuroko cry or sad, Midorima would always be beside him, slowly getting close with Kuroko though Kuroko only thought of him no more than a friend. And in their last days of middle school life, Aomine broke up with him, said that Kuroko was a burden and many other words that he didn’t want to remember because at that time he was being pressured by his family to take the path they planned for them so that he could take over their business and he took all of his anger out on Kuroko,his frustrations with his problem of basketball only added fuel. Kuroko only said ‘I understand’ in a soft voice. He was just like that. He wouldn’t pester, he wouldn’t demand, he wouldn’t force, he would go away if you wanted him to because that’s Tetsu. Maybe he would go and cry alone but he would never come and annoy you. And Kuroko disappeared after that.

Being an idiot he was, Aomine admitted himself, he didn’t realize his feelings not until much later and he really was too late because by that time, Midorima already took a firm place in Kuroko’s heart. Aomine didn’t accept until they were at their wedding, Tetsu looking so happy, so happy that it hurts and warms Aomine’s heart, hurts because he wasn’t the reason Tetsu was smiling, but this Tetsu was the one he wanted to see the most. Tetsu who didn’t have to cry, who didn’t have to ask for one’s attention like a beggar, who would have constant showering of love and care because he deserved that more than anyone else, who wouldn’t need to have insecurities about himself because he was just perfect. His Tetsu.His precious Tetsu.

Aomine cried later, not even hiding he was while mumbling how his Tetsu didn’t deserve this, how his Tetsu shouldn’t encounter with assholes over and over again, how he should be the only one mistake in Kuroko’s life. He wept, wept and wept again. Kise knew Aomine loved Kuroko more than his life and he bet everyone knew that. When Aomine stopped crying, he asked Kise to tell about his while stating it would only be fair like that.

Kise snorted at the man who had mixture of snot and tears on the face. But he nonetheless began telling. Kise was born with the loving from all living beings – Aomine told him to shut up about fluttering himself and get on with it, which Kise pointedly ignored – and everyone knew that. He never experienced what a thirst for love felt like. Whenever he went, he would be liked by the lot. That was how it went since the beginning. And as the time went, he began to play with it, love. He would play toss and throw with people’s feelings and he could be as mean as he wanted because those people just didn’t know how to hate him. And Kise lived on that. However, when his presence was ignored for the first time in his life by a male – a plain looking one – he was furious. He started to follow Kuroko around and showed his interest in him. But he still got ignored. A feeling started from fury soon turned into desperation. When he realized what he had gotten into himself, he was already in too deep.

Kise at first thought Kuroko was a shallow person but he was wrong. Maybe it was his determination and burning spirit that had Kise fall for him in the first place. As days went by, Kise’s love for Kuroko only increased. Kuroko was the kindest, cutest, strongest in his own way and Kise could find countless other adjectives to describe him. So, Kise this time, chased after Kuroko so much harder. He thought Kuroko didn’t like him back because of his reputation. However, when he found out that it wasn’t because of that but because Kuroko didn’t know how to accept love since no one had ever offered him up – except Aomine – he just regarded it as a joke. At least he would have a chance if Kuroko could see through his interests for him like he could when Kise was faking façade or having troubles. Sometimes he wanted to force himself upon the smaller male because he was just that frustrated. He didn’t take it well when the marriage news came along. He was the partner in crime with Aomine because they did plan to raise their hands when the priest asked for any objections. But when he saw Kuroko that day, he thought maybe it was better. It would be better. Because Kuroko said he loved Midorima with eyes full of adoration, proudness, and love when Kise asked him before the wedding started. Kise laughed with tears later because it was so ironic, because those eyes he saw a while ago were just exactly like Kise’s when he was around the blue haired man.

They sat there for another half an hour or so before going out to meet Akashi and Murasakibara. As if sensing that they were good again, Murasakibara smiled a genuine one, though Akashi wasn’t very pleased with the fact that they resorted to punching.

_At least you got to date him, wasn’t like me who got friendzoned from the beginning. And you were not a mistake for him. He would never think like that. You also know that, right?_ Kise told Aomine later when they weren’t busy running errands in the name of Akashi Seijurou as their punishment. And Aomine smiled that little smile indicating he also knew that.

 

 

For Akashi, one would think that he was the one who was affected the least. Because he was the only one who interacted with Midorima the most among others after the incident. Since there were joint businesses between Midorima and Akashi corporations, Akashi didn’t allow his employees suffer just because of their problem. Though Akashi didn’t cut all the ties with Midorima household, one could clearly tell that the two households had nothing but merely business relations left. Only Akashi remained in contact with Midorima among them even if it was within work. And Kise and the others couldn’t help but respect Akashi for being able to separate work and personal matters though they were pissed at the red head at first. Akashi knew that his single decision would lead to thousands of families to go unemployed. Stopping business operations with Midorima Corporation wouldn’t cause any large damage to his family’s wealth. But he had full responsibilities for the well beings of his workforce.

Midorima’s parents seemed to resent at Akashi when they first found out that he was responsible for their son’s injuries. However, they dared not to cease any connections with the Akashi Group for it would end up as a fatal blow to their chains of health care business. So, you could say that the two families were just merely communicating on the surface. Akashi couldn’t care less.

The red head never brought up about Kuroko since then. One could say as if he had already forgotten about the latter. He also had a fair share of on and off relationships with various partners – with both women and men. Kise heard that he even hooked up for a while with Furihata from Seiren. Kise didn’t and wouldn’t comment about any of the relationships his friends had. They could do whatever they wanted with whoever they pleased because it was not like Kise was an exception either. It was true that they all had feelings for their friend but they also weren’t some kind of love worshipping idiots who vowed to be in physical relationships only with the loves of their lives. They might be heads over heels but they weren’t blind to the point of being irrational. They had already accepted their fates that Kuroko was never theirs and would never be either.

As for Akashi’s case, Kise thought only the red head himself would know his true feelings. Kise wasn’t going to pry. If his friend opted to disguise or hide his emotions, he would respect that.

 

 

Over these years, though Kise and his friends were not always flopping together around like they used to be, he still somehow could grasp at least some news about them. But he had to admit that he didn’t show much interest in Midorima’s case. He might have heard the green haired man’s achievements and his beings though he never purposely went out of his way just to know about him. Kise held grudges. They might have passed the stage of wanting to punch the hell out of each other whenever they faced, however, that clearly didn’t mean that Kise was all willing to go buddy-buddy like they used to again. Sometimes, choosing not to cross paths with certain people more than necessary was better for both parties. It also was the same for the other people. They might be on talking terms again in some occasions with the doctor but no one reached out first to go to another level than the current situation.At this age, they learnt about forgetting and forgiving, but some matters could stay sensitive even after years. Kise didn’t and wouldn’t want to know whether his logics were right or wrong. They were probably wrong and sometimes extremely biased because he knew he was selfish. But he didn’t care. He might have said one thing at one point but he could also change to another just because he could.

Kise let out a long sigh when he finally stepped out from the maze of past. The water he was soaking in had turned cold since long. Sitting through the slowly chilling water, which in turn forced him to have consecutive reruns of events in his mind was good in one way, though bad in another. He let his head rest back against the wall behind him while listening to the constant beat of water from the showerhead into the bathtub. The encounter with Kuroko came into his mind again.

“ _Fuck_.” Kise groaned into his hands, he had already come into acceptance that Kuroko would only remain as a memory in his life. But then, the blue haired male once again appeared. Kise was enraged, both at Kuroko and himself. He was mad at Kuroko for disappearing like a ghost and then came haunting him all over again. He was mad at himself for another whole reason, it seemed like even after all these years, even after all the time, even after all of his convinces against himself, his heart still yearned for the latter. The rhythm of beating at the glimpse of Kuroko would remain as the most solid proof no matter how much he fooled and denied his feelings.

The dying desire of wanting something he could never have, Kise loathes it. He loathes it with all his being. Kise let out another curse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking too much time updating. I was just busy catching up with my school. 
> 
> Well, this chapter is about what happened with GOM while Kuroko was gone to America. 
> 
> I was planning to make MidoKuro happen no matter what at first. But, with the current storyline in my brain, I don't know what to do anymore. *cries*   
> Well, I just have to go with the flows. 
> 
> Thank you again for giving some time to read my story. Lots of love to all the readers who read, reviewed and favorite-d. Your words and supports are what keep me going. (I am such a sap xD)
> 
> P.s. As usual, I apologize for grammatical errors, spelling errors and whatever errors it might contain.   
>  I don't own KNB. All the characters go to the respective creditors. I only own the storyline.


	7. Chapter 7

The moment Kuroko opened his eyes, the first thing greeted him was his heavily curtained dark room. He stayed still for a while before forcing his body to move out of the bed since he doubted being late to work on his first day would be a very good impression. He lost track of time last night, busy reading references for his next book. He let out a groan as his joints crack when he stood up. His body wasn’t considered very good even after all these years of playing basketball but it seemed to worsen during these couple of years.

After washing up and dressing the appropriate work attire, he made himself a cup of coffee. The apartment was quiet, only the clicking of the spoon stirring the coffee cup could be heard. Suddenly, his phone buzzed, indicating an incoming message. Kuroko unlocked the phone and saw that it was a morning greeting from Kise. Kuroko sighed, quickly typing a ‘good morning to you too, Kise-kun’ and sent it to the blonde. He wouldn’t get an ending of it if he didn’t reply.

The blue haired male hurriedly finished his coffee, got his bag and headed to his work. He needed to distract himself to avoid thinking unnecessary things. Maybe finding how to get to his work could be a very good distraction. It seemed that he should thank himself for not getting familiar with the roads beforehand.

He was already drenched in sweat after about thirty minutes and the kindergarten was still nowhere in sight. His stamina was still causing such a hindrance for him. He couldn’t help but allow himself to rest on his knees with his body bent for a few minutes or so while trying to catch his breath.

And it was at the moment that he felt a tug on his pants. Blue eyes met calm green eyes, and Kuroko swallowed before greeting to the intruder of his personal bubble.

“Hi.” Kuroko spoke softly to the owner of those green eyes who happened to be a kid not older than five.

“Do you need something?” he was met with a firm head shake.

“You seem to be in pain. Are you in pain?” Kuroko smiled a bit to the question and shook his head.

“I am just, umm, kinda lost. And a bit out of breath from all the running.” He received a firm nod this time.

“Where are you going?”

“Heaven kindergarten.”

“I am also going there. I am a student from that kindergarten. You can go with me.” The little kid didn’t even wait for an answer from Kuroko. He just thrusted his tiny hand towards him. Kuroko took his offer and held the kid’s hand.

“Thank you.” He received a nod this time again. What a quiet kid, he thought.

After going for about 20 minutes, they finally arrived to the place. Of course Kuroko wouldn’t be able to find. He was heading to completely opposite way. Remembering his little tour guide, he crouched down to the child’s eye level.

“Thank you so much. You were really a great help.” Kuroko thanked him with a tiny smile.

With a bright red face, the kid shook his head quickly. He mumbled a ‘it’s ok’ and ran away swiftly, not hearing Kuroko’s calling.

“Ah, I didn’t even get to ask his name.” Kuroko quietly mumbled to himself.

*

After the whole “being lost” accident, Kuroko’s day didn’t go very smoothly. The class he had to teach was great. The kids were also very docile and seemed to like him a lot (even if it wasn’t at the beginning). But the problem was he had to spend a whole hour soothing the crying kids that ‘no, he wasn’t a ghost’ and ‘no, he didn’t eat their prior teacher’ and other various creative assumptions (He tried to forget that he spooked the principal so hard the poor old man fell from the chair. He was still trying.). But the rest of the day was great. After being convinced that Kuroko wasn’t anything of their imaginations, the kids just literally flocked over him. He was thankful to himself that at least the kids weren’t scared of him like they were to Kagami. And the boy who helped him that morning wasn’t in his class. He would ask his name if he saw him again though.

The sun was already gone by the time he closed the gate of the school. He specially requested to let him close it since he wanted to go through all the necessary stuffs with his new work. He didn’t get lost on his way home again. Kuroko was thinking he would just turn in after a hot shower but the scene in front of his apartment compound said otherwise.

There were four grown men who Kuroko was very familiar with, and who were still not aware of the blue haired man’s arrival, at least not for long. It was Aomine who saw him first. He saw the same combination of emotions run through the man’s eyes just like Kise. Anger was the most of them though. He stood so fast and strode towards Kuroko with that intent glare which could probably kill people if it was possible. He saw the rest starting to take notice of him but he couldn’t pay much attention to them when Aomine was literally trying to kill him with his eyes. Kuroko and Aomine stared at each other for minutes and neither was going to back down. When Kuroko realized this was not going to end soon, he broke the gaze first with a sigh.

“It is nice to see you again, Aomine-kun.” Kuroko muttered. Aomine still didn’t seem like he was going to do anything other than glaring the life out of Kuroko. He thought he kinda heard a growl from the bigger one. Kuroko decided that he could deal with the pissed off male later. He first needed to take out the troublemaker first. Kise might know that he was in trouble because he just cowered a little when their eyes met. Oh, so the man still knew of his doing.

“Kise-kun, what did you promise me just yesterday?” If Kuroko was close enough, he might hear the man whimpered a little.

“It wasn’t Ryouta’s fault. You of all people should know that secrets don’t work with him, aren’t you, Tetsuya?”

Kuroko mentally sighed and looked at the one who spoke. “Hello to you too, Akashi-kun.” The red head’s posture was relaxed, in fact too relaxed. The red head was pissed, Kuroko at least knew that, but Akashi didn’t let any rage come onto the surface. It was as if he already caught Kuroko and so the latter could wait later for the punishment.

“Kise-kun, I will deal with you later.” The blonde literally shrieked. If Kuroko was not too busy thinking how to handle this situation, he would find that amusing. He mentally blamed himself for being too soft towards Kise. He should have been cruel when they met. However, he knew that was impossible. How could he reject when the blonde was practically bawling his eyes out like a little child? The answer was always no.

 

So resigning to his fate, and just like what he always thought of when this day came, Kuroko bowed to all of them, and spoke with a hushed voice, “I am sorry for disappearing so suddenly without any notice. You must have been really worried. And I know simply saying a sorry will not be enough but still, I hope you will be able to find it in your hearts to forgive me. Again, I am really sorry.” Kuroko knew it would always be his right to decide what he wanted to do, but these people were his dear friends, they had always been by his side whenever he needed help or comfort. They were practically his family along with Kagami and Momoi. Acting as if he hadn’t wronged after all the things would be just too much.

 

Kuroko was surprised when two large arms surrounded him and lifted him off the ground, causing him to dangle in the mid-air, but when he felt a purpled head nuzzled against his neck, Kuroko smiled softly. He patted those soft locks while murmuring gentle words to the giant when Murasakibara was starting to sob through the embrace, Kuroko’s shirt slowly soaked with tears. As if on cue, he felt another body joined the hug from behind and this time it was Kise who was also in no better condition than Murasakibara. Kuroko was practically sandwiched between the two grown up crying males.

 

Akashi watched the scene unfold in front of him with a soft and amused smile. And he saw Aomine fidgeting besides him, as if it was physically paining him from refraining himself to join the group. Akashi knew that unless someone dragged the other male out of his own misery, he would never be true to his feelings. So, as a good friend he was, he grabbed a half-assed protesting Aomine and attached themselves to the little hugging session. That night, they didn’t know or they cared about who saw them. It must be weird for other people to see five men hurdling together and some of them crying their feelings out. But for them, despite the snot and tears and heat, they felt calmed. And happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, you can stalk me and kill me softly *wiggles eyebrows*. I won't complain at all. Here's another chapter though it is a little short. I just need a start-up again, you know, after discontinuing this for over a year, I just lost leads. So, I asked myself like do you wanna quit this? The answer was no. So, I decided that in order to continue this fic, I needed to make it alive again by posting another chapter. By doing that, I will also get the feeling that this fic is still alive and as a consequence, I will be able to find a way to do this. So yeah. And thank you sosososososo much for giving and showing love to this fic. Even though I didn't think of giving this fic up, there were times I felt really depressed for not knowing how to proceed anymore. So, your support really means a lot to me. Thank you so much. I will try to reply to comments from now on too (I am supposed to have much more freedom since I am taking a break right now before a new semester comes) Anyway, thank you so much!
> 
> p.s. this is unbetaed so it can possibly contain all sorts of errors.

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy.


End file.
